Oh, FFS!

First of all, sorry for the delay in my posting, I have been very busy lately with some real life projects and as such, have neglected several of my side projects, including this one.  This post is about 3 stories summarized and posted in one long post so I can make room in my head for more stories.

As you all know, I hate corporate restaurants like one hates syphilis, and now I have even more disdain for them.  Last week, in addition to having 0 weekend shifts scheduled, 3/5 shifts were closing shifts and 1 opening shift.  While most people would welcome the opportunity of an extra hour of tables without having to share with the rest of the staff, closing where I work is a right pain in the arse.  Basically, we close the entire restaurant, from the dining room, to half the kitchen -- all for $2.63/hr.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not that lazy, but still.  I resent having to clean up after 15 other servers, and then the kitchen as well.  They get paid more than we do, so let them do the physical work.  It's bad enough they are all treaded like gods anyway.  Which reminds me...how did we get to that system in our industry?  The SERVERS make the restaurant money, so why are we always the ones shafted?  Opening is just the exact reverse....we have to do more than any other restaurant I've ever worked at to open and close...all so management and the kitchen can be lazy.  God, I need out of this business fast!

Amateur Night

For those of you in the biz, you know that Friday and Saturday, while usually busy, are basically amateur nights at any restaurant -- at least as far as customers are concerned.  These are the days when first dates, family outings, etc usually take place, and they are also the days that people who have absolutely no business eating in a nice restaurant attempt to do so.

So it was no surprise that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY TABLES last night was shitty.  I don't know if the Hostesses are out to get me, or the quality of the people was just crap last night, but I ran around like a redheaded step child for pennies last night -- something I detest doing.  Look, I get it.  The economy is bad.  You are trying to impress your girlfriend by taking her somewhere nice.  You just got paid and you want to show off to some friends.  Personally, I wouldn't dream about going out to eat unless I had enough money to pay for my bill, at LEAST 20% for the tip, and am in the mood to be friendly to a complete stranger.

But these assholes?  No.  Every table I had felt ENTITLED to something free.  Every table I had felt that they had to have some assbackwards modification to their orders -- something that is a right pain in the ass on our computers.  No table, except my first one, left over 15%.  At first, I thought it was something I was doing...perhaps missing a step in the corporate brouhaha that is our job.  But after each table gave me their verbal tip (you know, 'service was great, keep it up, you did well', etc) I knew that wasn't the problem.  People were just cheap last night.

I would love to find out where these people work.  Perhaps take a few of my friends over to their place of employment, ask them for every modification possible on an item or service, tease them into thinking you are a good customer, and then say 'oh, i'm sorry, I don't have enough to pay you for your service.  Can I pay you 80% of what I should pay you?'  I bet each and every one of them would look at me like 'WTF!'  Exactly how your server feels after a shitty tip left by you.  Yes, I would rather have 0 tables than have 5 tables tipping me 10%.  Why?  Because I wouldn't have to bust ass for pennies.  I would actually make more by having less in this case.  After tip share (3.5%), taxes (around 9%), I would walk with maybe 1-2% total.   A waste of my time, IMO.

So to the general public who cannot, or does not, know how to tip, stay home and cook for your significant other.  If you really must go out, and you haven't grasped the concept of proper tipping, then go to McDonalds, or Ihop, or Waffle House or some diner somewhere where a $2 tip is acceptable.  If you really must go out to a nicer restaurant and you cannot afford a decent tip, then order a salad and a chicken...or sit at the bar where they are already tipped out by the servers so your tip doesn't mean quite as much (sorry bartenders, but you know its true) and make an hourly wage.  They can afford to absorb your cheapness -- I cannot.

I look forward to comments about all this in the comments section. 

Asshats.... (rated PG-13)

Well, today had to be the most odd night I have had in a while.   Started off SLLLOOWWW, which was to be expected as it is the night before labor day and we have been having some AWESOME weather lately, so we all figured that people would be out at the lake rather than sitting in the restaurant trying to shove fish down their mouths.  We figured wrong.

Day 2 in the bag....

Oh, how I hate to close.  Its not about the work, or the fact that I'm stuck there until everything is done, but what I hate is the late hours that I'm there sometimes.  Tonight was my second night on the floor and all was well until this table of uppity, pretentious women decided to split their check 100 different ways.  Split the appetizer into 3/5 parts, put the drinks on this check, except that one, which needs to go on this check.  It was a clusterf*** to say the least.  To make matters worse, for the last 10 years, I have used Aloha in some for or another, but here at the new place, the POS is literally a p.o.s.