Monday, September 6, 2010

Asshats.... (rated PG-13)

Well, today had to be the most odd night I have had in a while.   Started off SLLLOOWWW, which was to be expected as it is the night before labor day and we have been having some AWESOME weather lately, so we all figured that people would be out at the lake rather than sitting in the restaurant trying to shove fish down their mouths.  We figured wrong.

By 7pm, we were wall to wall.  Not a wait, but a steady stream of folks that would be come in right as you thought you were done for the night.  Most of my tables were cool, with the exception of this two top that came in towards the start of the evening and, like my friend over at Surviving Serving, bitched about everything.

That, of course, set me back about 15 minutes and got me so razzled I ran the wrong card on the wrong ticket for two of my other tables -- which caused me to be about 30 minutes backed up.  Being in the weeds is a bitch in and of itself, but when you have asshats like these trying to complain about every little thing, one just wants to whack their knee caps and send them on their way.

Luckily, my other tables (the ones whose credit cards got messed up) were really cool about things (one of the advantages of being new is you can use the 'im new and i mucked up' excuse).  But this one asshat, the complainer, was bound and determined to make me run around every 3 seconds for something that shouldn't have been messed up in the first place.  For example.  The douche ordered a Zinfendel.  I rang in 2 glasses of Murphy-Goode “Liar’s Dice” Zinfandel and brought them out.  They didn't tell me they wanted WHITE Zinfendel, let alone Beringer.  No, they were pointing at the REDS section on the menu and said they wanted a zinfendel.  What would you have done?

After those idiots left and I collected my 10% tip, the night went pretty much smooth until 9:35pm (we close at 10 on sunday).  2 more asshats walk in and sit at a cocktail booth.  And since I'm a closer, it was my turn to take these losers.  They promptly inform me that they had 2 more coming who should be arriving shortly...which to them, shortly means 20 minutes.  We are now at 9:55pm and these douches want to order well done steaks.  After informing them of the impending closure of the kitchen in 5 minutes, they changed to appteizers and salads and all went well from then on...including their tip ($40 on $110). 

But they were not the asshats that really pissed me off this evening.  What I'm about to say may piss some folks off, WHY THE HELL DO CERTAIN FOLK FEEL IT IS THEIR DUTY TO COME TO RESTAURANTS WITHIN 20 MINUTES OF CLOSING TIME IN DROVES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  Yup, 10m to close, 6 folk come trottin into the restaurant and order all sorts of stuff from the kitchen.  Not my table, luckily, but as I now work in a corporate dump, if one server is stuck there after close, we are ALL stuck there until that server is done -- utter bullshit if you ask me.  

So now its 5m until 11pm.  We've been closed for 1h now and these bitches are STILL nibbling at their food.  I guess after seeing the four of us give them dirty looks for the last 20 minutes, they got the idea and left.  Of course, that wasn't the end of them at all.  They had to get the manager involved because of course their check wasn't right.  The server didnt do this or that, and they didnt get something.  Needless to say, the server in question was rightly pissed, and after hearing the story from both sides, I have to agree with the server.  So they finally leave and after 10 minutes of cleaning their nasty ass table, we were released to go home.  

What asshats.

The moral of the story here folks is this:  When you go out to eat, take a few seconds to take not of the closing time and the present time.  If there is a 30m or less time difference, please turn around and go somewhere that stays open late.  Think of it this way:  Would YOU like it if someone came to YOUR business 10m before you close and just hang out for 30 - 45 minutes?  Probably not.